


Nicotine

by rome_in_asia



Category: K-pop, The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Descriptive and full of Metaphors, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sad, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 05:31:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19266808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rome_in_asia/pseuds/rome_in_asia
Summary: Did you fall?Or did you let go?





	Nicotine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ignitedstars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignitedstars/gifts).



Younghoon knows it never stops hurting.

 

The pain settles deep within the heart, infecting the entire soul with agony for every beat it makes. It never goes away; you just have to make room for it, sweep the broken shards away and keep them in a box, hoping it will never burst open.

 

Younghoon sees him in every exhale, the smoke clouding into the silhouette of him walking away with a trail of tears blazing the darkened skies with the fury within him. So Younghoon inhales back quickly, head leaning back against the cold, stone wall, hoping his essence remains in the cavities of his polluted lungs.

 

“You need to go to a doctor, hyung. You’re killing yourself.” Chanhee nags at him, worried. Seated together in the corner of their shared apartment that used to smell like flowers but then smelled like smoke and Chanhee’s hangover soups for Younghoon. “Please.”

 

“I’m not killing myself.” Younghoon argued, watching the blaze of his lighter flicker out.

 

“It sure seems like it.”

 

“Leave me alone, Chanhee.”

 

His bestfriend sighed, biting his lips to keep the letters from pouring out. Chanhee knew he should save his breath for when he needs to cry over a body with lungs turned black with nicotine and heartbreak. It was a downward spiral, a tumble down the rabbit hole, and there was no way up. It hurt to think of the inevitable ending to a tale of thorns, but all wilted flowers sink to the ground anyway.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Buy more.” Younghoon’s answer was gruff, slamming the door behind him. The rain had stopped a while ago, but puddles were still on the street. Younghoon found himself staring at a man with sunken eyes and hollowed cheeks, grey and cold and distant like the clouds that hang around the city eversince…

 

Oh. _That’s me_.

 

The mini mart was empty save for the cashier, and Younghoon went straight up to her, pointing out the boxes he preferred and a new lighter. As he put change on the counter to pay, he slipped and dropped his wallet on the tiled floor of the mart, glistening with lights but more dampened by dirt it was trampled onto.

 

“Here.”

 

Younghoon looked up.

 

“You kinda dropped it.” the stranger said with a safe smile. Younghoon took his wallet back and bowed to the girl, quickly taking his paperbag and going out to the streets. He didn’t want to admit it, but he was obviously waiting for someone else to hand his wallet back.

 

His breath caught in his throat—it has been too long, yet Younghoon was still stuck in the past with  a bottle of regret and the short end of a wishbone. _Did you fall_? A bright smile haunted his mind, a ghostly glimmer of warmth trailing down his arms with a kiss to his cheek.

 

The last time he saw Changmin, Younghoon made him walk away with a broken heart and unanswered questions.

 

_Or did you let go?_

**Author's Note:**

> hello~ I hope you enjoyed this tiny fic! Thank you for reading and have a nice day!
> 
> {twitter: [ @juyeonieee ](https://twitter.com/juyeonieee?s=09)


End file.
